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Where Can I Fix My Sunglasses?

1 February 2014
Opticians are asked all the time, "Where can I fix my sunglasses?" Sure, there are plenty of options, but there's only one that we recommend every time: self-installed aftermarket lenses. In fact, I've recommended it so often that I thought it was high time that I turned it into fine literature. The fruits of my labor? This fabulous little composition I have affectionately titled,"Where Can I Fix My Sunglasses?"

"Where can I fix my sunglasses?"
She called out in despair,
When she opened up her satchel clasp,
And found her scratched up pair.

"Where can I fix my sunglasses?"
She mumbled with a moan.
Her poor, destroyed old Oakleys
Lost a battle with her phone.

I couldn't stand to listen
To her sad, besotted cries
And responded to her question,
Just to pacify her sighs.

"Where can you fix scratched sunglasses?
You really want to know?
Why you can replace Oakley lenses
Anywhere you go!

Sunglass lens replacement
In a buggy, on a train!
Oakley lens replacement
In the sun or in the rain!"

Her sniffles, they subsided
As she looked up at my face.
"I really can replace my lens
In any given space?

Please, tell me more!
I didn't know, I never did consider
That I could have replacement lenses
To my door delivered!

Designer lenses surely cost
Much more than I can pay!
Please tell me there's an option.
There must be a better way!"

"Aftermarket lenses are the secret,"
I replied.
"The ultimate solution
For the problem you've just spied.

They're inexpensive, which is great,
(You'll save a little cash)
And often better qual'ty,
Than the fancy ones you scratched.

Just measure up your old ones
Across the widest part
And order up some new ones
To repair your broken heart.

Then in a week, or maybe two
A package will arrive,
With brand new Oakley lenses
Wrapped up carefully inside.

It's down to you, my weepy friend,
To make the final switch.
But don't you worry, don't despair
It goes without a hitch.

I see here that you've plastic frames.
That sure will make it harder,
But it's a challenge you can meet
With soap and warm-ish water.

Just give your shades a little bath,
To help the frames get loose.
Then dry them off and give the lens
A gentle little push

It should pop out, though it may take
A little bit of time,
And then you're halfway there!"
I responded with a rhyme.

"The next part's easy,"
I went on, by way of explanation.
"The brand new lenses pop right in
Without too much frustration."

"Well, that's amazing! That's the best!"
She then exclaimed with glee
And left my office smiling.
Could a happier person be?

"Just carrying out my duty,"
I said to the empty room
And winked a wink like Kent himself
That would make Lois swoon.

I don't possess Thor's hammer
Or fly like Superman,
But sunglass lens replacement?
Well that, I super can!

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